While it's interesting when done with Expys, the guy's idea is retarded. WHY would DC do that? Also, one has to know very little of Superman to think that even if he was drunk he'd do something like that. That guy's an idiot. Unless he was joking around, but even then the joke is not that funny either.
So, a guy's in this bar on the top floor of a skyscraper, right? It's up - WAY up - on like the 45th floor. The guy's never been in the city before; he's in on business, and he orders a drink to calm his nerves.
The man at the end of the bar comes up to him and strikes up a conversation.
"You know, I'm the architect that designed this building," he says.
The businessman is piqued. "Yeah?" he says. "I really like it. We don't have anything like this back where I'm from."
The architect says, "Lemme let you in on a little secret. See, I don't want anyone jumpin' offa one of my buildings. I couldn't stand to have that on my conscience. So I design 'em so that the airflow around them keeps people from killing themselves on a ledge that I designed.
The businessman doesn't believe the architect for a second, and tells him as much.
"Fine," says the architect. "I'll show you." Over the businessman's rising protests, he walks up to the window, lifts it, and hurls himself over the side of the building. The businessman screams, but his scream trails off to nothing as, impossibly, the architect floats back up the side of the building to land perfectly where he stood on the window ledge.
Well, now, the businessman has to try it. "You're sure it's safe?" he asks. "I mean, I think I weigh a little more than you, maybe, and -"
"It's fine," says the architect. "It's perfectly safe."
The businessman reluctantly steps to the window, throws himself out of it, and smashes into the ground.
The bartender looks up from his work. "You know, Superman?" he says. "You're a real ass when you're drunk."
You mean like Irredeemable?
ReplyDeleteExcept he'd be completely
ReplyDeleteof his gourd drunk. Yes,
that would seem to be it
exactly.
"What a twist." -M Night Shyamalan, Robot Chicken
ReplyDeleteI've always said that Superman was a six-pack away from a murderous rampage.
ReplyDeleteFuck, I'd read that. GIVE THAT BOY A JOB!
ReplyDeleteAll Superman does when he is drunk is flick peanuts at bar mirrors.
ReplyDeleteBatman has an app for that.
ReplyDeletespoiler alert, been done in Invincible, minus the drunk bit. And for the record, it was an awesome plot twist.
ReplyDeleteand here I am wondering exactly how many beers it would take to get Superman drunk...
ReplyDeleteForgive me for stating the obvious, but, wouldn't his invulnerability kind of render the effects of alcohol...what's the word...non existent?
ReplyDeleteSo, what's funny, strange, or wrong with this guy's statement? I don't get today's post.
ReplyDeleteAs a couple of others mentioned, it's been done a whole mess of times already.
ReplyDeletetulpoeid
ReplyDeleteThat wouldn't be a plot twist. It would just be a plot.
While it's interesting when done with Expys, the guy's idea is retarded. WHY would DC do that? Also, one has to know very little of Superman to think that even if he was drunk he'd do something like that. That guy's an idiot. Unless he was joking around, but even then the joke is not that funny either.
ReplyDeleteSo, a guy's in this bar on the top floor of a skyscraper, right? It's up - WAY up - on like the 45th floor. The guy's never been in the city before; he's in on business, and he orders a drink to calm his nerves.
ReplyDeleteThe man at the end of the bar comes up to him and strikes up a conversation.
"You know, I'm the architect that designed this building," he says.
The businessman is piqued. "Yeah?" he says. "I really like it. We don't have anything like this back where I'm from."
The architect says, "Lemme let you in on a little secret. See, I don't want anyone jumpin' offa one of my buildings. I couldn't stand to have that on my conscience. So I design 'em so that the airflow around them keeps people from killing themselves on a ledge that I designed.
The businessman doesn't believe the architect for a second, and tells him as much.
"Fine," says the architect. "I'll show you." Over the businessman's rising protests, he walks up to the window, lifts it, and hurls himself over the side of the building. The businessman screams, but his scream trails off to nothing as, impossibly, the architect floats back up the side of the building to land perfectly where he stood on the window ledge.
Well, now, the businessman has to try it. "You're sure it's safe?" he asks. "I mean, I think I weigh a little more than you, maybe, and -"
"It's fine," says the architect. "It's perfectly safe."
The businessman reluctantly steps to the window, throws himself out of it, and smashes into the ground.
The bartender looks up from his work. "You know, Superman?" he says. "You're a real ass when you're drunk."
One of my favorite jokes.
ReplyDeleteI would like to think superman would be a happy drunk.
If this comic actually existed, it would pretty much have to be written by Garth Ennis.
ReplyDeleteAaaaaw... I see. I thought I was ironic at first since it sounded like a great idea to me, but I was probably half-outsmarted :)
ReplyDelete