June 28, 2011

After his girlfriend said that BATMAN was probably the smartest of the big name superheroes...

22 comments:

  1. He has the second part right.

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  2. Well, compared to the sudden preponderance of Marvel characters becoming super intelligent (Spider-Man almost as smart as Reed Richards? Please...) he may be right.

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  3. Chad, I'll respect the genius of any high schooler that's able to invent and construct the webbing, the required shooters, plus tracers that transmit to his brain, as well as any of the other gadgets Spidey's whipped up over the years.

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  4. i tend to agree. he doesn't sound crazy to me at all.

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  5. p.s. are there that many idiots going into your store with ear stretchings? and if so, do these guys/girls/whatever purchase much or are they there simply to loiter and complain?

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  6. I see nothing objectionable with this statement.

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  7. I think he is actually jus folks. I mean Batman can just Google shenanigans in his town and look up Wikipedia facts about plant toxins and stuff on the bat computer.

    He's like smart, but not that smart.

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  8. He's not smart, he's just paranoid. That's why he's so prepared for everything.

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  9. Hmmmm, yes, why would people/beings who can tear apart buildings/cities/countries/WORLDS with their bare hands or respective talents all be afraid of a normal man in a Bat costume? Probably because, you know, HE'S SO DAMN SMART.

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  10. What I meant w/ my Spider-Man comment is that, all of a sudden, Pete gets this think tank job and his intelligence grows. In no time, he figures out a stealth suit, and helps Reed fix an OUTER SPACE VEHICLE THAT HE'S NEVER SEEN. I call shenanigans.

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  11. He's clever. That's all he really needs in his line of work.

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  12. Even DC's most well-regarded writers have portrayed Batman repeatedly as a moron, setting himself up to be cracked in the skull for the zillionth time or standing here while the senior citizen he's confronting gets the drop on him (O'Neil) or wading into the center of a group of cult worshipers to threaten their leader only to get beaten to a pulp (Ostrander).

    NOT A NINJA.

    What Batman has is prep time and endless resources. The JLA fears him because he has kill-the-JLA plans filed away and enemies who will eventually get ahold of them.

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  13. I mean if Batman was such a genius you think he'd find a better way to combat crime other than dressing up like a bat.

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  14. @Yuk Yuk Inc: Does convincing other people around the world to also dress like bats count as a better way?

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  15. We all know Ted Kord is smarter than Batman...or at least was.

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  16. @Chad: That's more the fault of Dan Slott's shitty, shitty writing than anything else. Peter has always been one of the big brains in the Marvel U, but Slott is terrible at build up and characterization.

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  17. @Chad: Actually, I just think you're not realizing or giving credit to how smart Spider-Man actually is. He was engineering pretty complicated stuff as a teen, making him practically a science prodigy. There have been many occasions in the past when Peter's impressed some of Marvel's ultra geniuses with his own smarts. Coming up with a stealth suit, and helping fix an alien vehicle isn't far-fetched for him at all, and doesn't make him "almost as smart as Reed Richards".

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  18. I agree that Spider-man has always been geinus level. He just rarely has a job that provides the resourced to come up with things like a steath suit. And his hero responsibilites usually keep him from getting or keeping a job that allows him to use his brains.

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  19. I think they are scared of Batman because he looks like a giant bat and bats are scary.

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  20. "Married to a hot babe? Unrealistic! Who can relate to that? Get rid of her!"

    AND THEN PETER PARKER WAS A GENIUS.

    Seriously, people need to hear themselves talk. Most of us couldn't swap out a carburator to save our lives, yet it's not insane for Peter to "fix" an alien spacecraft utilizing technology he's never laid eyes on before? NO, HUMAN! DON'T TOUCH THA

    I'll buy "smart." I'll buy "super smart in a technical sense." But what I loved about the "organic" webshooters was that they eliminated the whole "I was bitten by a spider last week and now I have freaky spider abilities, so over the weekend I invented AND constructed nigh-microscopic devices that can fire a filiment of adhesive in a straight line the length of three/four/eighteen buses with pinpoint accuracy despite having no distinguishable propulsion source, AND THE FORMULA FOR THE MIRACLE ADHESIVE ITSELF*. Because, you know, spiders. But I won't even tangentally share any of these wonderous inventions with the rest of the world, because it's better to die in poverty. Great responsibility blah blah blargh fart fart."

    * "Are my secret-superagent parents still in continuity? And I just rediscovered their secret formula for said adhesive? Because THAT's both more realistic and relatable! Joe Everyday, that's me! All I need now is a dog from outer space!"

    ...It's at this point that the argument usually switches from "I find this totally plausible" to "it's just comics, dude, jeez."

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  21. I don't get what the point of your argument is Anonymous, that things in comic books are implausible? I don't think anybody is disputing that.

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  22. This guy should be under "jus' folks" not "crazies". I'll be on a hunger strike until this is rectified.

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