It's true, when the Romans tried to crucify Thor, son of the Allfather, they couldn't get the nails through his blessed skin, and after hours of pounding away he summoned Mjolnir and said unto them "Forsooth! Enough of this horseshit!"
He must be tucked away in Revelations somewhere. I never could understand more than half of that crazy book, though he would make a bad-ass Horseman of the Apocalypse.
Also, is it just me, or is this strip a great deal physically larger than normal.......?
@Jake: See, this is why it's not in the modern Bible. History is written by the winners, and for centuries that was the ROMAN Catholic church.
"So what are we going to do with all these bits where Jesus and Thor throw lightning hammers at a bunch of Legionaires and kill them all?" "Pfft, who wants to read crap like that? Those iron age Roman warriors could EASILY take on those pitiful weaklings!" "Butthurt much?"
Hell, old issues of Thor WERE my Bible back in the day. Also, Fantastic Four was my scientology handbook and Amazing Spider Man my Purpose Driven Life.
And I guess that Uncanny X-Men was my Koran because it tended to be meandering, full of holes and some of the writers had serious issues. That, and the time I beheaded that guy for insulting Professor X.
The only thing I know about Thor comics is this: He once hit an opponent so hard that the force of it both killed his opponent and reduced Thor's own body to jelly.
For this reason, I like Thor, and will watch his movie.
Jesus: Son of God, sent to Earth to live among men, meant to teach people to be more noble and less proud, cast out demons, betrayed by Judas, died and came back, will be a part of Armageddon.
Thor: Son of Odin, sent to Earth to live among men, meant to learn to be be more noble and less proud, cast out frost giants, betrayed by Loki, died and came back, will be a part of Ragnarok.
I was thinking about this post today, what with the movie coming out and all. Yes, this young man's observation is facepalm material, but at the same time, this seems to reflect the kind of world a lot of people are pushing us to live in, i.e. - one where the Bible's prominence (whether inspirational, historical, literary or any combination thereof) is diminished. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.
Perfect. Just perfect.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it true! He used to hang out with Methuselah.
ReplyDeletewhile I agree Thor will suck, he needs to freshen up on his Biblical studies.
ReplyDeleteMe thinks he does not know the power of thy mighty Thor!
ReplyDeleteExpect this human to be struck down by his own words (and lightning) verily as he doth exit thy comic merchant stall.
That would have made the bible a lot more fun to read...
ReplyDeleteJust remember Dorcas IS in the bible...
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that it was Thor who went to the top of Mt. Sinai to receive the Fifteen *crash* Ten... Ten Commandments.
ReplyDeleteIt's true, when the Romans tried to crucify Thor, son of the Allfather, they couldn't get the nails through his blessed skin, and after hours of pounding away he summoned Mjolnir and said unto them "Forsooth! Enough of this horseshit!"
ReplyDeleteAnd verily, many Romans were wrecked that day.
@Jake That is the greatest comment I've ever seen. I may quote you on that.
ReplyDeleteRight, right. Thor was that dude that took the jews out of Egypt and crossed the Red Sea with his mighty hammer right? hahahaha
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I'm compelled to post. Not because of the comic, but these comments are great. Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteAnd she said YOU'RE Thor? I'M so thor I can hardly pith!
ReplyDeleteUninformed idiots bring such joy to
ReplyDeletethe smarter ones, and the Bible would
be much groovier if you mixed in a
healthy dose of Norse myth.
Read the D&D Monster Manuals for a primer on ancient gods. Thor, Hercules, Ares, even pagan gods from the British Isles and NOrth and South America.
ReplyDeleteHe must be tucked away in Revelations somewhere. I never could understand more than half of that crazy book, though he would make a bad-ass Horseman of the Apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is it just me, or is this strip a great deal physically larger than normal.......?
I would be interested to hear more of his theology.
ReplyDeleteIt's in my Bible (Edas), what are you talking about.
ReplyDeleteAnd lo, Thor did bringeth the pain with his badass hammer, and the public did see, and it was good.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite bible story is when Thor and Jesus teamed up to fight the new Baal and his weather machine.
ReplyDeleteIs it me, or does this guy look unnervingly like Klarion the Witch Boy? Or maybe Eddie Munster...
ReplyDeleteI want to read his bible. Is Beta Ray Bill in the new testament?
ReplyDeleteI love the part where Thor and Jesus team up to send the Frost Giants back to Egypt
ReplyDeleteha ha ha! Priceless.
ReplyDelete@Jake: See, this is why it's not in the modern Bible. History is written by the winners, and for centuries that was the ROMAN Catholic church.
ReplyDelete"So what are we going to do with all these bits where Jesus and Thor throw lightning hammers at a bunch of Legionaires and kill them all?"
"Pfft, who wants to read crap like that? Those iron age Roman warriors could EASILY take on those pitiful weaklings!"
"Butthurt much?"
Hell, old issues of Thor WERE my Bible back in the day. Also, Fantastic Four was my scientology handbook and Amazing Spider Man my Purpose Driven Life.
ReplyDeleteAnd I guess that Uncanny X-Men was my Koran because it tended to be meandering, full of holes and some of the writers had serious issues. That, and the time I beheaded that guy for insulting Professor X.
PENGO! HEHEHHEAAAHERHEAHEAAAAAHHHHEEEEEE!!
ReplyDelete"Thor is lame?" Name one other superhero who ever smashed a dragon's fucking teeth out from the inside!
ReplyDeleteOh, and, yeah, not in the bible. I guess that's important too.
The only thing I know about Thor comics is this: He once hit an opponent so hard that the force of it both killed his opponent and reduced Thor's own body to jelly.
ReplyDeleteFor this reason, I like Thor, and will watch his movie.
Jesus: Son of God, sent to Earth to live among men, meant to teach people to be more noble and less proud, cast out demons, betrayed by Judas, died and came back, will be a part of Armageddon.
ReplyDeleteThor: Son of Odin, sent to Earth to live among men, meant to learn to be be more noble and less proud, cast out frost giants, betrayed by Loki, died and came back, will be a part of Ragnarok.
I see his confusion.
According to Marvel 1602 he's not completely wrong...
ReplyDeleteIf Thor had been in the Bible I might not be an atheist today.
ReplyDeleteThese are the best comments I've ever seen on here.
ReplyDelete/slow clap ...bravo
ReplyDeleteThor's style of speech is certainly vintage King James.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this post today, what with the movie coming out and all. Yes, this young man's observation is facepalm material, but at the same time, this seems to reflect the kind of world a lot of people are pushing us to live in, i.e. - one where the Bible's prominence (whether inspirational, historical, literary or any combination thereof) is diminished. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.
ReplyDelete