July 14, 2014

While discussing BATMAN's less than stellar job of cleaning up Gotham city...


11 comments:

  1. Batman could easily put an end to street-level thugs by just offering them all jobs and/or setting up free universal rehab throughout Gotham. Most street crime is based on desperation - either through poverty or drug dependency. Bruce could easily minimize those two factors and still have money to take Siver St. Cloud to a private island every weekend for a year.

    Getting rid of the supervillains would be a hard sell. Very few of them are motivated by money. And if you can afford a laser that can burn a giant question mark into the side of a building, a giant penguin-shaped robot tank, or enough chemicals to make all the fish in Gotham Bay "smile," you're probably not hurting for cash.

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    1. True. However, about half of Batman's super villains do in fact commit crimes precisely to challenge the Bat. The Riddler, Penguin, Mad Hatter I think, Joker, depending on the story. After unlocking all the character bios in Arkham Asylum, I was surprised to see how often the motif of "Themed villain sends riddles to challenge the Great Detective" has been repeated over the years. If Batman went away, a lot of these villains might go away.

      Mr. Freeze could be bought off with a grant to research a cure for his wife.
      Two-Face MIGHT calm down if the Bat isn't around to remind him of who he used to be, call it a fifty-fifty chance.
      If the Joker goes away, Harley Quinn might be able to get help for her issues.

      The Joker's plot to make all the fish smile, was in fact, a cash-driven scheme BTW

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    2. "Two-Face MIGHT calm down if the Bat isn't around to remind him of who he used to be, call it a fifty-fifty chance."

      ;-)

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    3. I'm gonna quote The "Trial" episode of B:TAS here and say:
      " I used to believe Batman was responsible for you people but now I see nearly everyone here would have ended up exactly the same, Batman or not. Oh, the gimmicks might be different, but you'd all be out there in some form or another that brings misery to Gotham. The truth is, you created him."

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  2. I thought we'd been over this already?

    "Alfred Pennyworth: With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that *you* don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

    Bruce Wayne: So why steal them?

    Alfred Pennyworth: Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. "

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efHCdKb5UWc

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    1. Great job! You outsmarted the cartoon! You win for the whole day!

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  3. And then Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.

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  4. If he likes getting beat up, technically that makes him a masochist, not a pervert

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    1. What qualifies as "perversion" is really just a matter of opinion. Masochism qualifies as perversion for plenty of people.

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  5. If he was paying criminals, then they would be drawn to Gotham like moths to a flame.

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  6. Paying criminals to stop being criminals. Hmm sounds like the worst idea I've ever heard. Maybe a sincere 5 hear old came up with it? Why not do this in the real world too? Some of my tax dollars can go to criminals as a way to get them to stop committing crimes. Sounds reasonable.

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