January 29, 2013

To his friend...


72 comments:

  1. So this guy's saying women are just something to be "put" somewhere? I'm shocked that he's single.

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    1. No, we was trying to make a funny.

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    2. It's a valid point. For a long time, I didn't bother to have extra chairs, dishes, beds, sheets, etc besides what was needed for just me. There was no place for people to situate themselves when they'd come over, so they wouldn't come over. By the time I got that stuff, it didn't matter. Nobody's really ever used any of it to this day, and it's been...I dunno, five years?. I should have just not bothered and used the extra space for more comics and media.

      This is not the statement of a person who's upset or at a loss as to why they're single. No. This is the statement of someone who understands exactly why. In other words, the backbone of the comics industry.

      (That or it's a good joke. I approve either way.)

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    3. Geez Anon 10.14am, way to explode with militant feminism and take offense from nowhere. Nice work.

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    4. @ Anon 10.14am:
      Well if you play with her she wouldn't be in mint condition anymore...

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    5. Go back to Tumblr.

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  2. Is it too late to make a "binders full of women" joke?

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    1. Months too late.

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    2. No way man. It's never too late to make a Romney joke.

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  3. Darn, I was going to fake outrage at his supposed "sexism", but someone beat me to the punch.

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  4. And by 'put' I think he means 'the lotion in the basket'.

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  5. It's pitifully true, and his wording is probably another reason why he doesn't have a girlfriend.

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    1. yeah the wording there was pretty damn ..uncomfortable..some one did just mention mitt Romney after all *sweatdrop*

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  6. Sure there's a place for her, fella: right on your penis! Hey-o!!!

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  7. It's not like fleshlights are that big.

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  8. Solutions:
    1. Let her keep her own place. (Contrary to what movies might tell you, most women already have a life before they meet you.)
    2. Sell some comics.
    3. Let her redecorate your place, and by redecorate I mean throw out all comics that don't meet her standards, which should refine your collection down to the essentials, which is probably good for everyone.
    4. Act like grownups, and get a bigger place together.
    5. All of the above.

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    1. Oh I almost forgot the zeroth priority: Try getting a girlfriend.

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    2. Wow, Jenny. Considering your utter inability to recognize a self deprecating sense of humor, you must be quite the catch, yourself. But seriously, lighten the fuck up.

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    3. Wow, Jenny. You're a real ray of sunshine, aren't you? Contrary to what movies might tell you, that mucous-oozing orifice you're sporting does NOT spit out gold coins and you're not a pretty princess just for having one.

      Better..and probably prettier, more talented, and CLEANER...women than you can be rented by the hour for far less than it'll cost a man in the long run, and I assure you I ain't just talking in terms of money.

      Women like you make a sexless existence surrounded by comics sound like a wise lifestyle choice.

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    4. Jenny: "Grow up."
      Anonymous: "NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO! I WON'T AND YOU CAN MAKE ME! (*throws plate at wall*) YOU'VE JUST ALL BUTTHURT!! YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT THE SEXISM YOU'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! (*empties bowels into underwear*) AAAAGH! LOOK WHAT THIS MUCOUS-OOZING W**** C*** SL** B**** MADE ME DO!!"

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    5. Wow, that's a lot of hostility. I guess not everyone thought my post was as funny as I did. Or they just thought they should interpret my posts, my sense of humor, my delusions of royalty and my personal hygiene in the worst possible way. (?)

      In either case, my answer to Anonymous 1 and 2 is the same: Suck it.

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    6. Wow, Anon @ 1:59. Sounds like you have some real anger issues there. =/

      Here's what you need to understand: the resentment you feel towards women isn't their fault and lashing out like you just did is never going to make it get better. You live in a culture that has created in you a sense of entitlement. Guys in the media you consume "get the girl" and you don't. You don't even when you can objectively and correctly state that you have more to offer than those male characters. And they don't get just any girl - they "get" girls who conform to society's standards for beauty. These imaginary guys - guys who are less intelligent or less witty or less interesting than you - "get" an 8 or a 10 even if they themselves are at best a 4.

      That's frustrating. And when you consume porn like any normal person, that porn often times features various debasements of beautiful women. Debasements that they "deserve" because they are the type of woman you know you will never have in spite of your culturally honed sense of entitlement. It's cathartic, I'm sure. But it's also damaging if you let yourself internalize it.

      So I am truly sorry that you feel the way you do. My heart goes out to you. But this anger that you feel is likely hurting those around you and it's most certainly hurting you. You might need therapy. And you certainly need to decide to let go of your anger and put yourself back out there.

      Yes, you'll get rejected. Probably a lot. -Everyone- gets rejected a lot. And yes, you'll get dumped. -Everyone- gets dumped. Dating is a numbers game. Think of how many people you have met as compared to how many people you actually like. When you're dating, you're looking for people who you not only like but who you want to sleep with and who feel the same way about you. That's going to be an extreme minority of the population no matter who you are. It doesn't mean the women who you're not interested in are defective. It doesn't mean the women who are not interested in you are defective. And it doesn't mean you're defective. It's just how the math works out. And once you find someone who appeals to you, that relationship will probably fail. And the one after that. And the one after that. To borrow a phrase from Dan Savage, "every relationship you are ever going to be in is going to fail. Until one doesn't."

      So cut yourself some slack and cut women some slack. We have to deal with the same stuff you do. Just hang in there and be forgiving.

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    7. @Jenny Creed: Has it never occurred to you that the "perfect man + woman = happy ozzy and harriet life" your list of instructions exhorts is NOT the same thing as "acting like a grownup" like you assume it is? On the contrary, having an honest appreciation of one's priorities and real life circumstances like the subject of today's comic is a sign of maturity. Your step by step guide is more like an immature blueprint for misery for so many people as evidenced by the divorce rate.

      Also, learn to recognize self aware self deprecating humor.

      @ anon 1/29/2013 5:39 PM
      > Giant, ranty, angry wall o' text.
      TL; DR.

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    8. They're more like guidelines than actual instructions, or actually, friendly suggestions. Where do you get the impression that I think I'm outlining some kind of one true relationship law? I'm pointing out a few options that the guy in the comic doesn't seem to have realized that he has.

      Also, why is it so strange to respond to self-deprecation with deprecation?

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    9. Then they're "guidelines" to a life of misery and regret, and, friendly or not, your suggestions are stupid. Asking someone to sacrifice the things they love for some placeholder relationship is giving them a recipe for long term misery and regret.

      I'm beginning to think you don't know what "self deprecating" means, too.

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    10. @Jenny Creed:
      I really really hope you're kidding about #3 (and to a lesser extent #2). Otherwise you're pretty much saying, "Women are allowed to have lives of their own, but guys aren't allowed to have their own tastes."

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    11. @ 4:12/1:59 Anon,

      5:39 Anon here. Nothing in that text wall was angry. I just wanted to give you a bit of perspective and some heartfelt advice because I really hate how miserable and alone you must feel to write the things that you wrote. I hope things get better for you. I really do. No one should be that unhappy.

      Best wishes.

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    12. All Walls 'o Text are either: angry, butthurt, or stupid. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and letting you go with the best option. And no, I am not going to go back and read your Wall 'o Text to try to determine what you "really meant", because the one thing common to all Walls o' Text, whether angry, butthurt, or stupid, is they are never, ever worth the time wasted reading them.

      Also you are not replying to who you think you are replying to. Anon @1/29/2013 1:59 PM jumped it in his reply, but then you had to go and do him one better (worse). Yeesh.

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    13. Lemme guess, you read comics not because you actually like the stories in them but because you hate paragraphs (a.k.a. "Walls o'Text"), right?

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    14. And now you're resorting to snide little insults because you don't have a real point to make. Cute.

      Oh, and there's whole world of difference between a paragraph and a huge, long, worthless Wall 'o Text diatribe in the comments of a webcomic.

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    15. Yo, 1/31/2013 1:40 AM was my first comment in this thread. This here comment is my second in this thread. ;)

      As for the other Anon's comment at 1/29/2013 5:39 PM, it's not giant and ranty. It's pretty compassionate :D which anyone literate in English (instead of subliterate in English, and maybe even flaming that teacher who blogged about wanting 7th graders to read more than graphic novels) can see. ;)

      Meanwhile, the guy in the actual comic here isn't even that far gone.

      *He has an apartment in the first place.*

      He doesn't spend so much of his income on geeky brand name products that he has none left for mundane non-geek expenses and relies on his parents for housing, food, and utilities. Wouldn't surprise me if some *other* geeks (including some female geeks) reject *this* geek as not geeky enough and too conformist/normal/mundane/etc. for their social circles...

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  9. It's been said that 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle'.

    I propose that a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish.

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    1. Never heard of that quote before: 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle'
      My only question is does the bike have the seat on or off?

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    2. What's funny about that is the woman who first made that statement got married a few years ago. I guess fish need bicycles too.

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    3. I don't buy feminist garbage like that 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.'

      Men and women are better for having each other in their lives.

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    4. So what about lesbians and gays?

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    5. Not relevant to the above comic. What about them?

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    6. I wasn't responding to the comic. I was responding to the comment above mine. "Men and women are better for having each other in their lives." so what about lesbians and gays, meaning how does the dynamic work in the case of those relationships?

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    7. Even gay men and lesbian women have friends and family of the opposite sex, friends and family that enrich their lives, so while the comment is somewhat heteronormative, it isn't an invalid statements.

      Aeryl

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    8. um no.. yes we do need each as a whole but you dont need a man (or woman ) to be happy. its not feminist garbage its the truth. if you truly NEED a women (or man) at all times..you have some Freudian based issues to work out . As for gays as a lesbian your wrong .i dont have male friends because i need friends of the opposite sex i have them because i actually just like there personally (you know the same reason you have male(or female) friends i hope)

      ps. your slowly hitting frank miller level of stupidity when it comes to women and feminist..and gays for that matter

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    9. Rule of the internet: If you want to call someone stupid, get your grammar straight first.

      I don't know if you're responding to Aeryl or me (or neither), but you might be responding, in part, to me.

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  10. get a "real girl" doll and stuff her in the closet when you're done son.

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  11. There's always the refrigerator.

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  12. Priorities, kid. Priorities.

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  13. Wow...this thread turned ugly quick.

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  14. Heh heh, "mucous-oozing"..

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  15. Anonymous 5:39 --- you aren't even CLOSE to the truth. You're projecting. Go watch more Lifetime Network.

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  16. ITT "Manly Men" turn Hostile McButthurt at the first sign of a real woman who doesn't "know her place."

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    1. Aren't you just the most precious little thing.

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    2. The only thing worse than the "manly men" on the internet are the "real women".

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    3. The fact that you use 'Manly Men' as a putdown says a lot about which end of the leash you're comfortable with. Still hoping that someday Daddy comes back with that pack of cigarettes he went to buy when you were seven years old, or do you hate him now for leaving you alone with Mommy, who festers with resentment every time she sees him in your face?

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    4. Dear Anonymous 1/30/2013 7:34 PM (and probably the other two as well):
      Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, you whiny little b****.

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    5. Oh dear lord, guys you aren't even trying anymore.

      Lifetime Network??

      Make a sandwich?

      Really, you can't even generate your own hate, you have to recycle the garbage from other centuries.

      Well, there was the one guy with the Tumblr comment, because EVERYONE knows that only silly little fangrrls and homos have Tumblrs, amirite?

      And yes you moron, the manly men comment is dead on. It is insecure fragile little testicles like you who feel the need to police everyone else for gender conformity, and view the slightest criticism and examination as horrendous coups of the gynotopia. GTFOY.

      Aeryl

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  17. At least he has an apartment.

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  18. I feel like I'm this guy two seven-year-relationships later and... yeah, I gotta say; he had it right! -I was way better-off with my comics instead!!! Don't ever let them make you comb the Skittles out of your beard...

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  19. I should really be used by now to random out-of-nowhere vicious misogyny on the Internet, but somehow it's still always a surprise. Stay classy, Internet.

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    1. Because every time someone has the temerity to disagree with a woman on the internet, it MUST be misogyny.

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    2. No, dear heart.

      Only gendered insults that are designed to insult women for being women are misogynistic.

      Make me a sandwich, the instant assumption of militant feminism and paternal abandonment, referencing a vagina as a "mucus oozing orifice"(cuz the penis oozes nothing that could be considered grody, right? And you are aware that the mucus is for your benefit, and an indicator of your prowess, right?), and slut shaming make it misogyny.

      Aeryl

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    3. Oh please. Just look at the very first post.

      Oh, and get an OpenID if you want to sign your posts FFS.

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    4. OpenID costs money to get an account.

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    5. LOL No it doesn't.

      Google is still free beer.

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    6. "Free beer?"

      Sorry, I mixed getting an account with joining the open ID foundation. That's a completely separate thing.

      Why is it that so many people her go anonymous, then? You don't even need an Open ID to put your name or handle on here.

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    7. Because I like my privacy and am very selective about where I will enter my account info.

      Thanks for proving my point by not addressing any of my points.

      Aeryl

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    8. Who? What points? What are we talking about? When was this?

      You know I'm not really a cartoon character BTW, right? You can put any name you want to. That wouldn't violate your privacy.

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    9. Yotaru Vegeta: Google accounts (and the openid that comes with them) are still free as in "free beer" (though not free as in "free speech"); the price you pay for a google account (and for free beer) isn't monetary.

      "Anonymous" signing everything as Aeryl: Apparently you also misunderstand what privacy is, and are confusing it with anonymity (which you also appear to have weak grasp of).

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    10. I am an arrogant, stupid bitch who doesn't know a thing about men, relationships, or privacy. Please disregard everything I say.

      Aeryl

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    11. That's pretty fucked up. So being anonymous has a price of its own, doesn't it, Aeryl?

      Delete
  20. Wow. Just wow. Someone in a comic store has a wry epiphany that he doesn't really need a woman in his home or in his life to be happy, and look how women completely freak out about it instead of accepting it as the simple truth it is.

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  21. I thought this comic was so cute and funny, but then I read the comments and now I'm sad.

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    1. i feel the same..its sad to know that most comic book fans are in there 30s buy now and still cant deal with gender well

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  22. Absolutely epic.

    See, this is what happens when you let your concept of women be determined by superhero comic books and SyFy.

    I see a lot of defensive "psychoanalysis" going on above; believe me, kids, you're telling everyone more about yourself than you're saying about others.

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  23. Hey sandwich people2/03/2013 2:29 PM

    What do you think would be IN a sandwich made for you by someone you just insulted?

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