Found this post on a forum that I can't find right now, but figured it was too good to leave in obscurity:
Okay, this zombie thing is finally out of control
Zombies have never done much for me, really. Oh, sure, I enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, and I think Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead is okay – just okay – even if it’s more talky survivalist soap opera than all-out zombie epic.
Think of it as Deliverance without the banjos. Or Ned Beatty. Or a manageable cast of characters.
All in all, I’ve never given zombies much thought. They never scared me, even as a kid. Bela Lugosi as Dracula would send me under the covers, crucifix in my white-knuckled little hand. But lumbering, fleshing-eating wraiths? Yawn.
All that changed this morning when, against my better judgment, I read this week’s installment of Dan Savage’s sex column, Savage Love:
Q: "I’m a pretty normal guy except for one thing: I’m sexually attracted to zombies. When I was a kid, I loved to watch horror films that featured them. Then as I became a teen, I started to masturbate watching zombie flicks. I fantasize about having sex with zombies while trying not to get bitten, but eventually I end up getting devoured. I also fantasize about a woman gangbanged by a group of zombies who then rip her apart and eat her. Is this a form of necrophilia? Are there any other people out there with the same fetish? When I was about 6, my best friend and I discovered the dead body of a drug addict in an abandoned house. Do you think that has something to do with my fetish? — from Concentrating On Rotting People Sexually Exciting"
Now I’m TERRIFIED – not so much of the zombies themselves as of the zombie LOVERS, snatching up cheap copies of Fleshing Eating Mothers and Hard Rock Zombies like so much free porn. Or scanning the obituaries as if they were the personals. Or, I don’t know, dating my sister!
i stopped watching after the first few minutes into the second episode -- when they did absolutely nothing with the tank that's parked in the middle of the street. what a fucking waste.
"i stopped watching after the first few minutes into the second episode -- when they did absolutely nothing with the tank that's parked in the middle of the street. what a fucking waste."
Because, just like in video games, everyone knows how to drive and operate a tank with absolutely no training whatsoever.
Zombie sex doesn't really appeal to me, personally.
ReplyDeleteThat's like saying you'd like Star Trek better if Picard were more like Legolas.
ReplyDeleteThere's no kosher alternative to human brains
ReplyDeleteSomebody slap him.
ReplyDeleteTranslation: I am gay.
ReplyDeleteBEST COMMENT, Jake.
ReplyDelete"My elven senses detect Klingons near your anus, Number 2"
ReplyDeleteewww... Zombie sex??
ReplyDeleteWhat? You mean talking... and southern... and boning everything in sight? Well, at least he didn't say Twilight.
ReplyDeleteSparkle zombies!! =D
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous up there, I think Jake's comment says it perfectly.
ReplyDeleteSparkle Zombies! I would actually like to see sparkle zombies. I don't get True Blood. I tried to watch it and it just felt like adult Twilight. Lame.
ReplyDeleteFound this post on a forum that I can't find right now, but figured it was too good to leave in obscurity:
ReplyDeleteOkay, this zombie thing is finally out of control
Zombies have never done much for me, really. Oh, sure, I enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, and I think Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead is okay – just okay – even if it’s more talky survivalist soap opera than all-out zombie epic.
Think of it as Deliverance without the banjos. Or Ned Beatty. Or a manageable cast of characters.
All in all, I’ve never given zombies much thought. They never scared me, even as a kid. Bela Lugosi as Dracula would send me under the covers, crucifix in my white-knuckled little hand. But lumbering, fleshing-eating wraiths? Yawn.
All that changed this morning when, against my better judgment, I read this week’s installment of Dan Savage’s sex column, Savage Love:
Q: "I’m a pretty normal guy except for one thing: I’m sexually attracted to zombies. When I was a kid, I loved to watch horror films that featured them. Then as I became a teen, I started to masturbate watching zombie flicks. I fantasize about having sex with zombies while trying not to get bitten, but eventually I end up getting devoured. I also fantasize about a woman gangbanged by a group of zombies who then rip her apart and eat her. Is this a form of necrophilia? Are there any other people out there with the same fetish? When I was about 6, my best friend and I discovered the dead body of a drug addict in an abandoned house. Do you think that has something to do with my fetish? — from Concentrating On Rotting People Sexually Exciting"
Now I’m TERRIFIED – not so much of the zombies themselves as of the zombie LOVERS, snatching up cheap copies of Fleshing Eating Mothers and Hard Rock Zombies like so much free porn. Or scanning the obituaries as if they were the personals. Or, I don’t know, dating my sister!
I won’t be able to sleep ...
He's got a point, there's been shitty teenage pop tv version of anything but zombies yet.
ReplyDeleteThe books True Blood is based on are actually funny though. But really, it's targeted for... my mom... she loves those books. lol
ReplyDeleteWhat an a-hole.
ReplyDeletei stopped watching after the first few minutes into the second episode -- when they did absolutely nothing with the tank that's parked in the middle of the street. what a fucking waste.
ReplyDelete^
ReplyDeleteFail, you should have walked out after they decided to go to FEMA.
I'm thinking he was thinking about I AM LEGEND.
ReplyDelete"i stopped watching after the first few minutes into the second episode -- when they did absolutely nothing with the tank that's parked in the middle of the street. what a fucking waste."
ReplyDeleteBecause, just like in video games, everyone knows how to drive and operate a tank with absolutely no training whatsoever.