December 19, 2012

While discussing movies...


18 comments:

  1. I didn't realise we HAD to care about Hobbits... When did that become law?

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    1. It's in the very fine print of the contract Bilbo signed.

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    2. It would have to be in the contract, otherwise the dwarfs would have left his worthless dead and rotting corpse by the side of the road long before Mirkwood. The so-called "funeral arrangements" as it were.

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  2. Especially don't want to care about hobbits just because of the trailers, lots of scenes of people whispering harshly at each other in the dark and cut to short guys in what look like elaborate RenFaire costumes stomping around New Zealand. No thank you.

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  3. You never had to care about hobbits to start with. I hope this guy's life is just flooded with hobbits now. Just hobbits everywhere you look.

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  4. I will ALWAYS care about hobbits. Hmph.

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  5. Why didn't they just have one of those eagles drop the ring in the volcano?

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    1. Because Tolkien can't make narratives worth shit. But that's okay, because that wasn't his point. Sadly, the movies were stuck with the stupid story he wrote instead of his richly detailed cultural world.

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    2. Because the Nazgul have dragons and they would have been plainly obvious to Sauron in their approach.

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    3. Because eagles have lives, too. They've got sh*t to do, jobs to go to, bowling leagues to be a part of. They can't just be dropping everything to fly off on some long journey whenever someone asks them! Short trips, okay, but you want something longer than that, you make an appointment!!

      Darned entitled walkers, always wanting to be hasslin' an eagle...

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    4. They didn't do it because that would be a damn boring story to read.

      "Then the eagle did some flying" "Then the eagle flew some more" "The eagle ate something"

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  6. Frodo wound up completely useless as a character. He basically acted as Samwise's pet camel all of the way through the trilogy. Everybody had to keep bailing him out, was always getting stabbed by Ringwraith and mountain trolls, Stung by spiders, abducted by orcs, etc. And then when he finally gets to Mt Doom and has the chance to truly be a hero, he FAILS. What a complete loser.

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    1. No shit.

      Because Sam was the real hero of the story.

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    2. That's why the eagles didn't want to carry his loser-ass to Mordor.

      Darned loser hobbits, always wanting to be hasslin' an eagle...

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    3. I had a major LOTR geek tell me once that it was impossible for any living being to simply walk up to Mordor and destroy the ring, because it was so powerful that it would destroy their will before then. Note that it really happens by accident when Gollum just stumbles in. In that sense, Frodo really was the strongest one if he could get all the way to the volcano before succumbing.

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    4. @Peter Paltridge
      Sam gave it up. It didn't destroy his will. And it was Sam who got Frodo there. Frodo was just extra baggage. But then Sam was a BadAss.

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    5. Sam also had the Ring for a lot shorter time than Frodo. It's made clear in the story that the Ring takes time to work.

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