December 21, 2012

To his Mom...


29 comments:

  1. You forgot to put an "It's True" tag on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No. No way. I love Santa as much as the next random internet commenter but no way does he beat up Batman.
    Batman would totally take him down for breaking and entering too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Santa's more a lover than a fighter. Bats would kick his arse from here to the North Pole.

      Delete
    2. You know, I hoped against hope that some tool wouldn't waddle in here, push up their glasses with a huff and tell everyone in their whiniest voice how Batman couldn totally whoop Santa Claus cuz he's so kewl. It's a *kid* talking about *Santa*...you really can't leave your all powerful nerd-rage-Batman-boners at the door just this once?

      Two of you so far, I wonder how many more assholes want to jump on board.

      Delete
    3. It's a joke, man. Calm down and check your self congratulation please.

      Delete
    4. You do understand the concept of humour, right? Just checking.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous talking to anonymous about anonymous to anonymous. I don't know who is who! :)

      1:34 anonymous, it was so funny that you took something that was not serious as serious. No one seriously gets into conversations about if Santa could beat anyone up. Sorry to break the 4th wall.

      Delete
    6. Santa would be eatin' cookies and checking his obscenely high blood sugar while Bats would be gettin' an ol' fashioned reindeer stompin'!

      Delete
    7. Hey VichusSmith, how do you know I'm not talking to myself?

      Delete
    8. I did consider that, and it would be scary if it's true.

      Delete
    9. Moo Hoo Ha Ha!

      You'll never know...

      Delete
  3. Isn't this the whole plot of Dark Knight Rises anyway ?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brad the Dad12/21/2012 2:37 PM

    If Batman laid a hand on Santa, Prancer would take him to school.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah, well Santa moves around the world faster than The Flash x Superman, so nyah!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pay attention DC! This kid is practically handing you a Detective Comics Double Size Christmas Special Issue. And I'd totally buy it...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rise of the Guardians sequel!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Looking forward to Christopher Nolan's "Santa Claus Conquers the Dark Knight".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Only way this possibly goes down is if Santa's deal with Nicolas Yuleson expires or is circumvented again and he is unleashed upon the world to reign evil once more. This time, Santa's - I mean Goldberg - is coming for what's his. Who's Next?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hasn't Batman been through enough already? Now he's got Santa wanting to kick his Cowled behind. HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD PEOPLE!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Santa got whooped by a pro wrestler. Batman would tear Santa apart, or for kicks he'd set up a situation where Santa tears himself apart.

    /Please never read the Santa vs. Warrior comic.

    //Ever

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm not sure how to objectively pick a winner. I have no knowledge of Santa's combat techniques.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot depends on exactly how Santa covers the earth in a day. Is it a speed thing or is he slowing down/stopping time? Is he becoming omnipresent or ethereal?

      He sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake. The specifics involved in this are actually hugely significant. If indeed he has a method of observing your every single move then this effectively eliminates the usefulness of prep time, which really brings Batman down a notch.

      Does he get access to his sleigh and reindeer? If he does then Batman should of course have access to his vehicles. This could the dynamic of the fight in a lot of ways and bring into question what merits the sleigh has in comparison to Batman's more heavily armed and armored vehicles. One way or another either through the merits of the sleigh or through the use of his own abilities he is capable of flying to every single house on the planet in a single night in that thing so I have to imagine it wouldn't be useless.

      Which is another thing you have to take into account. Where is the fight taking place? But here's the thing. Santa has the advantage in this department. He has intimate and complete knowledge of the inner workings of every home on the planet. Batman only rivals that knowledge in Gotham City.

      But at the end of it all so much about Santa's methods is left in mystery that it really is hard to even properly begin the discussion.

      Delete
    2. I'd say Santa still has the advantage in sleigh vs Batplane department. They both are able to fly through "no fly" zones like it's nothing, but Santa still knows when you've been sleeping, when you're awake, and when you've been bad or good. I'd suspect that includes whether you're in a top of the line stealth jet as well.

      Delete
  13. Which Santa are we talking about? If we're talking about the Santa in Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, then Batman is in a heap of trouble. If we're talking about the Santa from Father Christmas, then there's no trouble at all, but he wouldn't want to fight Batman anyway. Other versions of Santa rate somewhere in between these two extremes, I would suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And also, how do the Krampus figure into this fight?

      Delete
    2. Guess he would have to take on the Joker? Or team up with him! Which would lead Batman and Santa to put their differences aside to take THEM on! Aw man...

      Delete
  14. I would pay good money for a Batman vs. Santa comic!
    DC, take notice!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anyone who has watched The Adventures of Pete & Pete episode "'O Christmas Pete" knows the answer to this one.

    ReplyDelete