June 7, 2012

To his friend...


25 comments:

  1. that man has clearly never seen a street fight.

    As far as i know it begins by having your head smashed from behind and then get kicked while your down.

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  2. Guns don't kill people; it's people with large collections of Bruce Lee videos that kill people.

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  3. PLEASE STAND STILL WHILST I UTILIZE MY ELITE TAKEDOWN MANEUVER.

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    1. That's what I used to say to my little sister when we played Virtua Fighter 2. Then she made Pai Chan kick me in the head.

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  4. angelofthenight6/07/2012 11:14 AM

    So he's going to throw his bruce lee collection at them and run screaming the other way? Cause if he looks like the pict shows he doesn't have a chance. :)

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  5. "I have every single Bruce Lee movie but I still look like I've never done a sit-up in my life."

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  6. has a massive video porn collection.

    never had sex.

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    Replies
    1. ...Ouch. Touched a nerve there buddy!
      *runs off crying*

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  7. I bet all he's learned from Bruce Lee movies is how to make those funny noises.

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  8. Even the ones that weren't Bruce Lee?

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  9. You know, everyone seems to forget that Bruce Lee only made like 6 movies. So not even that is an amazing boast.

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  10. And where's Bruce Lee now, sport?

    I've seen a few episodes of "Walker: Texas Ranger" so I can totally waste an army as long as they swing and kick wide enough for me to duck without hurting my poor old back.

    Grammar Hitler says: "THERE ISS A PUNCTUATION POINT MISSING FROM DER VOICE BUBBLE! ZIS VIL NOT BE TOLERATED!! EVA! MINE PILLS!"

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    1. Fake German Writing Hitler says: "It's MEIN pills!"

      If you're going to write bad fake German, at least write correct bad fake German.

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    2. "Ach der Liebchen! I am undone! Fahrvergn├╝gen!"

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  11. Alright- he has admitted to seeing all of his movies: So he IS aware what his physique looks like compared to Bruce Lee's then? Because if he ever DID try to fight someone, after he hit them once, they'd be like: "What was that? This is not a chawade. We need total concentwation. Now- once again; this time with feewing!"

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    Replies
    1. Mad Scientist6/07/2012 8:14 PM

      Strictly speaking, he only admitted to HAVING all of the movies, not having seen any of them....

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    2. I imagine Bruce Lee could do more with this guy's body than he could ever do with Bruce Lee's body.

      In fact, that's a movie I wouldn't mind seeing. It's not that unusual for a movie to have a premise where the guy's been retired forever but circumstances call him back into action to kick ass one last time, but it always seems like they're still in shape after thirty years of the easy life. Feeling their age, but definitely in shape. Kind of takes some of the impact away from the whole "Thirty years later and he's still got it" when they choose people like Liam Neeson and Clint Eastwood for the role and they both could clearly snap me like a twig. I'd like to see one with a guy who looks like he's really let himself go kicking asses with his martial arts even though he couldn't beat any of these young healthy soldiers in an arm-wrestle.

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    3. Perhaps this guy has direct access to...BIG JIM SLADE.

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  12. I see he's taking the Sandra Bullock/Demolition Man approach to fighting.

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  13. I wonder if there's a video somewhere of this guy swinging around a golf ball retriever.

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  14. Now if only those police officers who beat up a guy because he had a kung fu movie collection were around, their defense might have actually worked against this guy if they had this sentence on tape.

    http://boingboing.net/2012/04/28/portland-prosecutor-says-innoc.html

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  15. The lack of any punctuation after "And I know how to" really bothers me. I know it doesn't really matter that much, but it makes me have to insert it with my mind.

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  16. ...because watching Bruce Lee movies counts as martial arts training the same way playing Call of Duty counts as firearms training.

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  17. Even “The Dragon and the Cobra”?

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