"I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: 'What a cute butt.' 'He's Satan!' 'You don't know him like I do.' 'He's the Prince of Darkness!' 'I can change him.'"
Because girls are confusing and while they say they would like a nice guy all they really want is some bad ass to dominate them. At least that's the case for me.
Pretty much it right there. In my experience, girls (these days) say they want a nice guy, but they really want an asshole. They love the so called "bad boys". See: Draco Malfoy.
For girls, guys fall into three categories the positive challenge (think Thor - brooding or a little mysterious, strong, confident and kind) the negative challenge (Loki - bad boy or asshole but still strong and someone who could protect me) and then wimps. Girls will take the positive challenge first, the negative second and pass on the third.
If you're a guy and not getting any, guess which category you fall into.
Yeah, I used to think that too anonymous. Then I learned to stop indulging in self-pitying adolescent excuses about how my loneliness and lack of confidence was actually the fault of women.
Seriously, no one over the age of 20 believes this, right?
The same reason we all fall in love with that guy with the dyed black hair who sits in the corner of the college parties draped artfully around a guitar he never really plays. He looks at us with soulful eyes, possibly with a hint of guyliner and he says, "You don't want to be with me, girl, I'm going to die young." And, we throw our arms around him and say, "I can SAVE you! My LOVE can save you!" Then they dump us for that Barbie doll in Theater History class, three days after Christmas, while still crashing on our couch, and we still buy him cigarettes because we're trying to be his friend but he's fucking her in her car outside your apartment... *looks around* Ahem.... I mean, because Tom Hiddleston is good looking... yeah... yeah...
For the same reason you have a hardon for Poison Ivy, Harley, Catwoman, Black Cat, Electra, X-23, Mystique, Female Loki, The Borg Queen, Evil Facist Dominatrixes, Naughty Librarians, psychotic Japanese schoolgirls...
But when girls have the hots for badguys, it's a sign of how craaaazy they are.
Yes, of course! Everything is the fault of us females for liking dickheads over creepy, stalker "I did something nice for you now you have to have sex with me or date me" Nice Guy types! We only like men who treat us like equals and don't constantly expect rewards for "nice" acts, you know, "dickheads"!
I've met way too many of these blokes, and its impossible to get through to many of them, its almost as if they don't see themselves in the mirror every morning, or realise their behaviour is the reason they're nearly forty and haven't fucked anyone since the early 90s (or at all in some cases)...
Has anyone else seen that open letter from "a nice guy" who attempts to complain about some girl - who apparently has said she wants a nice guy, but has gone out with some jerks - by listing all his creepy, entitled, manipulative, pathetic, weaseling, stalker behavior that supposedly demonstrates what a "nice guy" he is, but actually shows exactly why the girl in question, or any other girl for that matter, doesn't find him attractive?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to use a THING to open a gateway to another dimension so I can enlist the aid of a mad Titan and a bland extra-dimensional race to get back at my arrogant pseudo brother for my deep seeded daddy issues. Ladies, please form an orderly line...
The actor is a total sweetheart, so for a lot of women, it's as much about the positive feelings that the genuinely nice Tom Hiddleston inspires as it is about his villainous alter ego.
What?! I had NO IDEA!
ReplyDeleteAnd some Women write love letters to serial killers.
ReplyDeleteI think the more important question is, "Why does every girl you know have a huge boner?"
ReplyDeleteSounds like somebody's a little confused...
Beat me to it.
DeleteWould it have been better if he'd said "pantie splash"?
DeleteIf someone is going around giving boners to girls I would say Loki is a likely suspect.
DeleteThis might explain how Loki gave birth to Sleipnir...
DeleteCatwoman, Poison Ivy, Mystique
ReplyDeleteAnd that's just off the top of my head. Maybe it's confusing him because sex symbols have to be in skintight revealing outfits, right?
Dont forget Harley! Possibly biggest psycho of them all, but awesome at the same time. As for me, I'll take Iron Man or Thor over Loki! :)
DeleteIron Man. Definitely Iron Man.
DeleteWhat can I say, lotsa girls love jerks.
ReplyDeleteThis girl doesn't. He's not even that attractive. Plus.. obsessed with bad guys ? (fictional or real) Yeah, that's healthy..
ReplyDelete"I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: 'What a cute butt.' 'He's Satan!' 'You don't know him like I do.' 'He's the Prince of Darkness!' 'I can change him.'"
ReplyDeleteKudos for the Bill Hicks reference.
DeleteIt's a well-known fact that boners are first and foremost effected my moral alignment.
ReplyDelete*by
DeleteFreudian slip?
DeleteDraco in Leather Pants.
ReplyDeleteBecause girls are confusing and while they say they would like a nice guy all they really want is some bad ass to dominate them. At least that's the case for me.
ReplyDeletePretty much it right there. In my experience, girls (these days) say they want a nice guy, but they really want an asshole. They love the so called "bad boys". See: Draco Malfoy.
DeleteWhat's the confusion? They want an asshole who is only nice to them. That way they feel special.
DeleteThanks for calling us guys with wives or girlfriends assholes, anonymous 1:47
DeleteFor girls, guys fall into three categories the positive challenge (think Thor - brooding or a little mysterious, strong, confident and kind) the negative challenge (Loki - bad boy or asshole but still strong and someone who could protect me) and then wimps. Girls will take the positive challenge first, the negative second and pass on the third.
DeleteIf you're a guy and not getting any, guess which category you fall into.
Yeah, I used to think that too anonymous. Then I learned to stop indulging in self-pitying adolescent excuses about how my loneliness and lack of confidence was actually the fault of women.
DeleteSeriously, no one over the age of 20 believes this, right?
The same reason we all fall in love with that guy with the dyed black hair who sits in the corner of the college parties draped artfully around a guitar he never really plays. He looks at us with soulful eyes, possibly with a hint of guyliner and he says, "You don't want to be with me, girl, I'm going to die young." And, we throw our arms around him and say, "I can SAVE you! My LOVE can save you!" Then they dump us for that Barbie doll in Theater History class, three days after Christmas, while still crashing on our couch, and we still buy him cigarettes because we're trying to be his friend but he's fucking her in her car outside your apartment... *looks around* Ahem.... I mean, because Tom Hiddleston is good looking... yeah... yeah...
ReplyDeleteHeather, you crack me up.
DeleteFor the same reason you have a hardon for Poison Ivy, Harley, Catwoman, Black Cat, Electra, X-23, Mystique, Female Loki, The Borg Queen, Evil Facist Dominatrixes, Naughty Librarians, psychotic Japanese schoolgirls...
ReplyDeleteBut when girls have the hots for badguys, it's a sign of how craaaazy they are.
You could determine aaall his fantasy comic women from that one speech bubble?
DeleteWho in the hell has a hardon for the Borg Queen? Wait, I don't want an answer to that.
DeleteDear, we're girls, we don't have boners.
ReplyDeleteWe DO have the hots for bad guys though. I just happen to have a terrible crush on Guy Gardner AND Loki, so obviously I like jerks.
But only jerks with hearts of gold.
Does it count if they steal other people's hearts and turn them into gold?
DeleteIt didn't take long for the "nice guys" to come out of their caves, did it?
ReplyDeleteMisogyny means I'm nice, right?
DeleteYes, of course! Everything is the fault of us females for liking dickheads over creepy, stalker "I did something nice for you now you have to have sex with me or date me" Nice Guy types! We only like men who treat us like equals and don't constantly expect rewards for "nice" acts, you know, "dickheads"!
DeleteI've met way too many of these blokes, and its impossible to get through to many of them, its almost as if they don't see themselves in the mirror every morning, or realise their behaviour is the reason they're nearly forty and haven't fucked anyone since the early 90s (or at all in some cases)...
It took even less time for the "nice guys == stalkers" knee-jerks to surface.
DeleteJust a bit less time than you.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone else seen that open letter from "a nice guy" who attempts to complain about some girl - who apparently has said she wants a nice guy, but has gone out with some jerks - by listing all his creepy, entitled, manipulative, pathetic, weaseling, stalker behavior that supposedly demonstrates what a "nice guy" he is, but actually shows exactly why the girl in question, or any other girl for that matter, doesn't find him attractive?
ReplyDeleteI fell into that trap when I was younger. Thank God I got over myself.
DeleteI find the responses here utterly fascinating.
ReplyDeleteNow if you'll excuse me I'm off to use a THING to open a gateway to another dimension so I can enlist the aid of a mad Titan and a bland extra-dimensional race to get back at my arrogant pseudo brother for my deep seeded daddy issues.
Ladies, please form an orderly line...
Woot-Woot! Hooray for tired generalizations that aren't actually true!
ReplyDeleteAlso this: http://thatgirlwiththebooks.tumblr.com/post/23020970883/warning-for-tom-hiddleston-ruining-your-life-and
ReplyDeleteThe actor is a total sweetheart, so for a lot of women, it's as much about the positive feelings that the genuinely nice Tom Hiddleston inspires as it is about his villainous alter ego.
ReplyDeleteYeah, because liking a fictional, well constructed villain equals liking assholes in real life.
ReplyDelete