January 31, 2012

While arguing over who would win in a fight...

JEEZUS.

31 comments:

  1. This is why this person is not encouraged to leave the basement.

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  2. The lazy eye just makes it better.

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  3. Warning: future psycho killer on the loose.

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  4. I can always tell when someone has never read Kingdom Come by how they view Superman.

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  5. Brad the Dad1/31/2012 11:40 AM

    I often say to myself, "There's just not enough flaying alive and decapitations in comics these days."

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  6. This kid's got the details all wrong.

    It's "Superman, with heat vision, from space."

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  7. It's how specific he gets with "forks" that makes this one for me.

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    1. No doubt they'd be Kryptonian forks, though.

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  8. Why would Superman, the man of steel, need forks, or for that matter, ANY weapon?

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    1. To make a point.

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  9. Not forks. Spoons. You're supposed to use spoons... they're dull; they'll hurt more.

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  10. smartypants.1/31/2012 3:11 PM

    Ah yes... Superman's ol' fork-in-the-eye move. Classic Superman, it gets 'em every time.

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  11. Is he saying Superman will pop the eyes with forks and shit of that nature, or that Superman will pop the eyes with forks and also pop the eyes with shit?

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  12. There's a lot to love here. The derp eyes, the insanity of the comment; but what really does it for me is the caption. JEEZUS indeed.

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  13. That sounds more like something Ultra Man, the evil antimatter universe version of Superman, would do. But either way, Batman would still manage to figure out a way to kick his ass, because HE'S MOTHERFUCKING BATMAN!!!

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  14. I think this guy's confusing Superman with that psychotic superpowered serial killer from the Supreme Power series.

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  15. I don't mean to be "that guy," but this fight has been done. Batman beat Superman in Dark Knight Returns. No need to keep wondering this, guys.

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    1. That's only because Superman didn't have any fuckin' forks!

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  16. That's what Superman does. Pop eyes and punch metal.

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  17. Ha! (comment above) You brought the metal-punching back!!!
    -This sounds less like Superman and more like he has been reading Invincible... Oh, and he also clearly has some form of psychosis...

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  18. And then you gave this kid a free copy of "What's so Funny about Truth, Justice and the American Way?" to educate him, right?

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  19. I remember back in Action Comics #54 when Superman popped Jimmy Olsen's eyes with forks. Classic move. This guy is a connoisseur.

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  20. Depending on the writer, Superman is either a genius or a total idiot.

    Idiot Superman: Attempts to engage Batman in fisticuffs, runs into kryptonite, cannot understand why.

    Genius Superman: Grabs the landmass that Batman is on from far underneath and then throws it into the sun before any human could conceivably reach him, even with bat-gear.

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    1. Depending on the writer Batman is either a total idiot or a supernatural being who experiences all time at once.

      Idiot Batman attempts to engage Batman in fisticuffs, is overpowered, wonders why his bat-fu and gadgets have failed him.

      All-knowing Batman sees Superman's plan to grab the landmass ten years in advance and enriches the soil with Kryptonite. Superman's powers fail him and he's buried alive.

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  21. Psycho Superman: Pops Batman's eyes with forks. Then pops own eyes with forks. Starts eating forks. Moves to Forks, pretends to be a vampire.

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  22. No, no, you're thinking of Blue Laser Commander.

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  23. Bat-Man should "POP" the guy on the side of his head with a batarang and straighten that eye out.

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  24. Accelerator is an antihero who once ripped off half a guy's skin rather than kill him as an act of sadism/mercy. On a single occasion he tasted the flesh of his vanquished opponent out of idle curiosity. He has hung the disfigured corpses of his enemies on display so that others will know what awaits those who place themselves in opposition of him. So far from the path of heroism is he that he describes his ethos as The aesthetic of the villain, introduces himself as just another villain, one who is lower than shit, and is known in the city he protects as the most fearsome force of evil in existence. Pretty sure if he saw somebody do the eyeball thing he'd take a step back and say "Woah man. That's fucked up."

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  25. Mark Millar's next project: "FORK-ASS".

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  26. Am I the only one who got a chuckle out of Penny Arcade's take on the Justice League?

    http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/09/05

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  27. The derp did it.

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