January 3, 2012

To his friend...

29 comments:

  1. I never understood the hate veggies get.
    Even as a Kid I liked them.

    Cooked, steamed, raw with dip. Always tasty.

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  2. @Anonymous 10:10am -- Then you ain't ever eaten my mother's vegetables, all boiling carrots and broccoli for an hour.

    But, umm, as a UKian can someone explain the little celery with chicken wings thing for me? kthxbi.x

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  3. Sure, if you'll explain mushy peas to us. ;)

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  4. OK, wait, now which Super-shirt is that?

    Also, there is no explanation as to why Buffalo chicken wings come with celery.

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  5. Well, carrots do look sort of phallic.

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  6. The celery is there for 3 reasons:

    1. It helps cut the heat of the buffalo sauce;

    2. It provides a contrast in texture and taste (crisp, bland and cool) to the chicken (chewy, spicy and hot);

    3. Celery sticks are cheap to buy and quick to prepare.

    Well, you asked... :)

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  7. I think the celery is both supposed to be a sort of garnish (in that it is a nice color that is different from the color of the the wings), they are also good to be dipped in the bleu cheese or ranch dressing that wings quite often come with, and they are also a nice palate cleanser after a particularly spicy wing. Wow, all that and only one period. Two now. Damnit.

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  8. I hate it when people use the word gay as an insult.

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  9. @Rootfish

    If it makes you feel any better, he's going to start having serious medical issues as a result of his incredibly heterosexual diet.

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  10. I'm gay for vegetables.

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  11. Huh, a fat chicken wings -loving vedgie -hater drinking diet...

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  12. Some people drink it simply because they like the taste more than regular pop, actually. This guy is definitely one of them.

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  13. Chicken is my favorite vegetable.

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  14. Oh he is going to have problems.

    Poop problems.

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  15. I don't like vegetables, either, but at least I can nut up and fucking eat the damn things. This guy's gonna get a friggin' heart attack eating that way. That is, if the colon cancer doesn't get him first.

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  16. For some reason fat people seem to think that so long as they drink diet soda they can eat anything they want.

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  17. Vegetables are what food eats.

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  18. I have a feeling that if you put anything next to the chicken wings he'd eat 'em. Carrots, asparagus, crayons, play-dough; people are dumb and lazy.

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  19. Brock Lesnar came into your store?

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  20. Call any vegetable
    Pick up your phone
    Think of a vegetable
    Lonely at home
    Call any vegetable
    And the chances are good
    That a vegetable will respond to you

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  21. Just because you eat fattening food doesn't mean you are compelled to add an additional 300 empty sugar calories to it.

    The blue cheese dressing is FOR the celery, not the wings, and ranch dressing is an abomination, although it is slightly better than breading the wings.

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  22. If the internet is anything to go by, veggies are getting a helluva lot more lady action than many of us.

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  23. little celerys? WTF is that?

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  24. I had no idea food had sexuality.
    According to this guy veggies are gay,
    meat is hetero and mushrooms are what? Bi I assume.

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  25. @Trae Dorn: Great reference!

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  26. Little celeries? Wait...is he talking about parsley?

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  27. This man should definitely not eat any vegetables. I don't want to help pay for his insurance premiums.

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  28. Which is worse for your colon health... sticking dicks in there, or eating nothing but meat? Hint: I bet Sir Ian eats HIS greens and look how long he's lasted. So yeah... eat the damn celery, kid.

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  29. Little celery sticks is probably what he means.

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