January 22, 2012

To his friend while discussing dating...

31 comments:

  1. I use the Rules of the Game for the same purpose, but I usually wait until the third or fourth date.

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  2. I use Labyrinth to accurately judge a person's character.

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    1. It's a surprisingly good test, actually. When an associate of mine objected to the fact that the protagonist, Sarah, a teenager, chose not to get it on with Jareth, the Goblin King, I knew that he was a douchebag in nerd-clothing.

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  3. The more a girl loves David Bowie for his non-singing career the crazier she is going to be.

    Also, I used to use "Grosse Pointe Blank" for the same purpose, but it was always a few weeks into the relationship.

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  4. I use "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra"...
    Or at least I would, if I weren't already married.

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  5. The Golden Child is his benchmark?!

    That's just...wow. Just wow.

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  6. I have agree with Anon 8:46... Grosse Point Blank is the way to go. Give it a few weeks, then watch it.

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  7. If you don't want the knife, then he don't want you.

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  8. Huh. I use open discussion, anecdotes, and empathy. Oh, and "Welcome to Mooseport" starring Ray Romano.

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    1. I use 'Everybody Loves Raymond', and carefully gauge her reaction to Marie.

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  9. I liked the concept of Lost Skeleton of Cadavra better than the execution. Yes, they perfectly captured the cheesiness of ultra-low-budget '50s SF movies. That's the problem. When you make a perfect copy of a movie that is boring, then you get a boring movie.

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    1. No, that's what happened with Alien Trespass. Lost Skeleton included a lot of brilliantly hammy performances, surprisingly clever and subtle dialog disguised as terrible dialog, and hilarious gags. Not to mention some pretty good improv at some parts.

      Seriously, while it has some slow parts, Lost Skeleton is anything but boring. Are you sure you weren't watching a different movie?


      Ahhh... frak... I just went meta, didn't I?

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  10. I wonder how many first dates this guy has actually had.

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    1. It's not the first dates you need to be worried about, it's if the jackass gets a second we need to worry

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  11. I'd wait until the 3rd date and make her watch Jurassic Park.

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    1. On second thought, I'd make her watch all three of the movies. If she likes either of the sequels better than the first movie then she's off my list.

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  12. I had a roommate who used to do this with Kafka.

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  13. Gosh, I'm just the same way, except I would make any guys watch Gosford Park, and if they don't like it, then I pour hot tea into their lap, and show them the door.

    Seriously? Because someone may have different tastes in movies, you would call them a "bitch"? What a charmer!

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    1. SallyP, I seriously doubt you've ever seen The Golden Child with a comment like that.

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  14. So, almost everyone in the world is a bitch, then?

    Wait, this guy might be onto something...

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  15. smartypants.1/23/2012 3:45 AM

    People who do things like this are total psychos.

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  16. He must've seen The Golden Child all of twice. Once originally and maybe another time after that. Like, with his mom.

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  17. Sorry, but I fully support this. Especially because this means Eddie Murphy is a bitch.

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  18. And this is why nerds don't get laid

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  19. I find that a good measure of a woman's date-worthiness is by how much she complains about me driving around all night with her tied up in the trunk of my Cadillac.

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  20. I think "Golden Child" means that he's testing to see if the girl smokes pot.

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  21. Guy's got standards

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  22. My 85 year old gramps does this with his first dates too but with the "Golden Girls" series. If they hate it, he knows they wont put out.

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  23. I Want The Knife1/26/2012 2:50 PM

    Oddly, I use the Golden Child to soothe myself after a girl dumps me for not liking her choice of any given Twilight Movie.

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  24. Foreveralone Guy. with an Atari T-Shirt...

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  25. The gentleman above has watched The Golden Child twice ... and not in the past 10 years. Dailystooge.com WELCOME TO THE STOOGE REVOLUTION

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