I can relate, aside for having my skeleton laced in a unbreakable rare metal, I've also battled for the love of a woman against her father who is the leader of a deadly ninja clan.
I too was a Canadian woods-child whose mutation made bones spring out of my arms so I could run around like a lunatic half-animal before I was brainwashed 44 times into believing everyone I've ever known is a lie, an enemy, or a missing relative, before I was fused to a toxic metal that made me indestructable so I could fight for the government before escaping to a posh boarding school in upstate New York to salivate on my team leader's wife - so, yeah, I know about hard ship and stuff.
I'm more like Wolverine than this guy. I star in 10 monthly Marvel titles, belong to half the superhero teams, star in 30 monthly spin-offs and minis, and had a cameo in a prequel that was actually pretty good, but for some reason didn't do that well at the box office. Oh, and I'm short and hairy and hardly ever get laid.
I find it easy to believe that you guys rarely bathe and/or get laid. Really. Which is why Logan stars in a gazillion comics, and you're training for the world championship in sarcasm.
And though we don't know what exactly did he live through, we can compare his more recent appearance with what he used to look and act like. But he still wears the same t-shirt.
@2:48, Chill out. They're cracking jokes. You know, trying to make people laugh? I'm sure you're dying to thrill us with stories of your daring sexual escapades, but I'm pretty sure no one cares.
Man if I had a nickel for every nerd that thought he was john holmes cause he gets laid more than once a year, I'd be a rich man.
It's a vicious cycle, idn't it? The more popular you get, the more people come to chat, the more people come to be hats o' the ass. (And Mr. 8:20am, 2:48's comment was pretty innocuous, wadn't it?)
Im confident Tigerama will be victorious in the "Wordplay" and "Quip-off" events. I'm a lock for the "Sardonicism" and "General Smirkiness" events. The one that has me worried is the "Free-form Snark." Rumor has it that David Spade is competing. That one's going to be a bloodbath.
I can relate, aside for having my skeleton laced in a unbreakable rare metal, I've also battled for the love of a woman against her father who is the leader of a deadly ninja clan.
ReplyDeleteI too was a Canadian woods-child whose mutation made bones spring out of my arms so I could run around like a lunatic half-animal before I was brainwashed 44 times into believing everyone I've ever known is a lie, an enemy, or a missing relative, before I was fused to a toxic metal that made me indestructable so I could fight for the government before escaping to a posh boarding school in upstate New York to salivate on my team leader's wife - so, yeah, I know about hard ship and stuff.
ReplyDeleteI too had a really bad spin-off movie made about my life.
ReplyDeleteI've always been more of a Lone Wolf/Timber Wolf kind of guy.
ReplyDelete(Because I'm old, and I was all about the Silver Age LSH (and X-Men, but they were mostly different mutants).)
Ninjas, every goddamn day.
ReplyDeleteI, too, rarely bathe and am generally unlikable. I totally get Wolverine!
ReplyDeleteI'm more like Wolverine than this guy. I star in 10 monthly Marvel titles, belong to half the superhero teams, star in 30 monthly spin-offs and minis, and had a cameo in a prequel that was actually pretty good, but for some reason didn't do that well at the box office.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm short and hairy and hardly ever get laid.
"Oh, and I'm short and hairy and hardly ever get laid."
ReplyDeleteIs that you, Mom?
I find it easy to believe that you guys rarely bathe and/or get laid. Really.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why Logan stars in a gazillion comics, and you're training for the world championship in sarcasm.
And the female customer's response:
ReplyDelete"Haaahahaa!"
I bet Wolverine totally likes Sublime too.
ReplyDeleteI must have missed the period where Wolverine had a set of nasty-ass dreads.
ReplyDelete@Blandy
ReplyDeleteIt was likely in the nineties. We all missed it, or blocked it out of our memories.
Supressed memories! Hey, I'm alot like Wolverine too!
And though we don't know what exactly did he live through, we can compare his more recent appearance with what he used to look and act like.
ReplyDeleteBut he still wears the same t-shirt.
http://ourvaluedcustomers.blogspot.com/2011/03/loudly-as-his-friend-waited-in-line-to.html
@Anon 3:32
ReplyDeleteHey man, Bradley Nowell could play the guitar like a mother-fucking riot!
“Jerk” might be a little harsh for this guy. Then again, sometimes Wolverine acts like a jerk…
ReplyDeleteThis guy doesn't get Wolverine. All of Logan's angst comes from his Zune.
ReplyDeleteI have sideburns and like redheads... but I don't always care for Wolverine comics. Maybe I'm just too damned happy.
ReplyDelete@2:48, Chill out. They're cracking jokes. You know, trying to make people laugh? I'm sure you're dying to thrill us with stories of your daring sexual escapades, but I'm pretty sure no one cares.
ReplyDeleteMan if I had a nickel for every nerd that thought he was john holmes cause he gets laid more than once a year, I'd be a rich man.
It's a vicious cycle, idn't it? The more popular you get, the more people come to chat, the more people come to be hats o' the ass. (And Mr. 8:20am, 2:48's comment was pretty innocuous, wadn't it?)
ReplyDeleteI am adding hats o' the ass to my personal lexicon immediately.
ReplyDeleteWait, wait, wait... There' a World Championship in Sarcasm? And I'm only just finding out about this now? I'm going for the gold, baby!
ReplyDeleteIf there IS a WCS, I will incinerate you.
ReplyDeleteOr, in the words of Ayanna from Real World Chicago: "I don't need a knife, I'll cut you with WORDS, bitch!"
Wait, Aneesa? Anissa? Aureole? Airdale? I can't remember.
ReplyDeleteYou're competing in the WCS? Crap...
ReplyDeleteWell, silver looks better on me, anyway.
you gotta understand superman to read his comics... Yes I'm from krypton
ReplyDeleteWait... Female customer???
ReplyDeleteI understand this guy's shirt at least: "under a green citrus fruit", which describes his position in society.
ReplyDeleteI have COMPLETE faith in Slade Grayson & Tigerama to both bring home the gold in the WCS.
ReplyDeleteIm confident Tigerama will be victorious in the "Wordplay" and "Quip-off" events. I'm a lock for the "Sardonicism" and "General Smirkiness" events. The one that has me worried is the "Free-form Snark." Rumor has it that David Spade is competing. That one's going to be a bloodbath.
ReplyDelete