Yes, I'm sure you, the average comic book reader, could kick the ass of the heavily-combat trained super-experienced-in-bad-things, armed with eye lasers that can blast apart mountains X-Men leader. And Emma would just leap into your arms. Yes. Makes perfect sense.
At first I agreed with the opinion that Cyclops would cut the guy in half. But after more careful consideration... Cyclops is, and always was, a wet dishrag of a character. He mopes around and never cracks a smile, despite having a pretty cool superpower and being able to bed such hot tamales as Jean Grey and Emma Frost. He's also one of the few guys who can give Wolverine an order and count on the little runt to follow it. So I picture the scenario thusly: Goofball above comes over and kicks sand in Cyclops face. Cyclops goes off to mope about it, much the same way he mopes about everything else. Emma swoons over Goofball. Unfortunately, Goofball can't close the deal because he's impotent. Thank you and good night.
Slade - So, goofball's "in comics," but he's the guy from the Charles Atlas ad on the back page?
I just sort of assumed that when he said he wanted to be in comics, that having superpowers was commensurate with that, considering that like 30% of the population of the Marvel U is superpowered, it's not that much of an outside shot.
Slade - You clearly haven't been reading comics recently.. Starting with Whedon and continuing with Fraction on through Gillen, Cyke has not only got out of that dishrag mode that Wolverine loving writers put him in, but he's been kicking ass three ways to sunday. From shattering sentinels on his front lawn, to jetpacking off to confront Norman Osborn on his helicarrier, to uniting what is left of the mutant race, Scott's come out from behind his women's skirts and is the bad ass he was always intended to be.
@Heather EK: True, I rarely read mainstream superhero titles anymore, and haven't read X-Men in probably a decade or more. @M. Garrett: I was thinking he'd be the Charles Atlas bully, one of the sea monkeys, or the guy that sells Grit (yeah, I love old comic book ads).
Emma is a slut ... not a whore. Ergo she actually has standards.
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly certain a fight between this dude and Cyclops would end with Cyclops shooting him in the face.
ReplyDeleteBecause that's how you get hot women. Attack the men they're with and claim them like pokémon.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I was in comics so I could kick Archie's ass and have a three way with Betty and Veronica.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, a comic about Cyclops getting his ass kicked by some neckbeard is something I'd buy in a heartbeat.
ReplyDelete@ThingsOfMyInterest.com:
ReplyDeleteYou mean...that's not how you get the ladies? Better revise my strategy then.
@The Suit-In:
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was sort of buying it until the "and get with Emma Frost" part. He should have quit while he was ahead.
Didn't Emma kick Jean's ass or something? Oh, and I believe Jean kicked Maddie's ass...
ReplyDeleteSo it would be fair.
Yes, I'm sure you, the average comic book reader, could kick the ass of the heavily-combat trained super-experienced-in-bad-things, armed with eye lasers that can blast apart mountains X-Men leader. And Emma would just leap into your arms. Yes. Makes perfect sense.
ReplyDeleteWho hasn't kicked Cyclops' ass at this point? Fucking Storm did it, and she had no powers.
ReplyDeleteI come back to this blog after a couple days and just shudder at these fine examples of humanity.
ReplyDeleteWhat, he isn't with Jean anymore? I'm soooo out of the loop!
ReplyDeleteAt first I agreed with the opinion that Cyclops would cut the guy in half. But after more careful consideration...
ReplyDeleteCyclops is, and always was, a wet dishrag of a character. He mopes around and never cracks a smile, despite having a pretty cool superpower and being able to bed such hot tamales as Jean Grey and Emma Frost. He's also one of the few guys who can give Wolverine an order and count on the little runt to follow it.
So I picture the scenario thusly: Goofball above comes over and kicks sand in Cyclops face. Cyclops goes off to mope about it, much the same way he mopes about everything else. Emma swoons over Goofball. Unfortunately, Goofball can't close the deal because he's impotent.
Thank you and good night.
I'm sure once Emma scanned his mind, she would probably slap him and walk away.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I was in comics so I could kick Doctor Octopus' ass and get with Aunt May.
ReplyDeleteSlade - So, goofball's "in comics," but he's the guy from the Charles Atlas ad on the back page?
ReplyDeleteI just sort of assumed that when he said he wanted to be in comics, that having superpowers was commensurate with that, considering that like 30% of the population of the Marvel U is superpowered, it's not that much of an outside shot.
Mt Steele.
ReplyDeleteBeing a superdouchebag isn't the best
superpower really. So this guys screwed.
Slade - You clearly haven't been reading comics recently.. Starting with Whedon and continuing with Fraction on through Gillen, Cyke has not only got out of that dishrag mode that Wolverine loving writers put him in, but he's been kicking ass three ways to sunday. From shattering sentinels on his front lawn, to jetpacking off to confront Norman Osborn on his helicarrier, to uniting what is left of the mutant race, Scott's come out from behind his women's skirts and is the bad ass he was always intended to be.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the comments section really is as good as the comic.
ReplyDelete@Heather EK: True, I rarely read mainstream superhero titles anymore, and haven't read X-Men in probably a decade or more.
ReplyDelete@M. Garrett: I was thinking he'd be the Charles Atlas bully, one of the sea monkeys, or the guy that sells Grit (yeah, I love old comic book ads).